Every time I see that quote I remember that in the time of Jesus... ... ...
Did I tell you that? That I remember that?
I remember so much of Jesus, but mostly from the viewpoint of that young kid John (the apostle). Not that I read some kind of 'past life' stuff into that as I don't consider reincarnation the way it is so often and so popularly explained... no-one really owns any individual past life at the exclusion of anyone else.
Remembering being John, I also remember at the same time being one of the soldiers on the mountain when J died. Gosh I even remember being on that same cross when J died, but... was I ever personally J or John or that soldier?
Of course not... and of course... all of the above... at least!!!
I like the Akashic records explanation: whatever help one needs to reclaim oneself - restoring one's authenticity - one can glean assistance from anybody's life, anybody who at some point lived in the 'past' and whose life experiences resonate with you (except for not being so messed up) is available to help you out. Nobody's experiences ever disappear, even after one leaves so to speak the physical realm, everyone and everything still lives on... still somehow in us and we in them... simultaneously, syntopically, synchronistically.
What I found so amazing - gosh I must have needed quite a few strong jolts, I must have really been lost to myself to be so miraculously kicked back into myself – what was so astounding was the time and space switching, the personality switching especially on that hill when J died. I remember switching from the cross to being John, then I switched to being that soldier and then being John again, saying to one of the other guys - Andrew it was - "Boy, we never understood Jesus, we never even understood a word of what he meant! But my..., I love him so, I... so loved him... "And then I wept, I wept for days... "
When I specifically remembered this, some ten years ago now, and told my wife, I was in the thralls of kundalini's self-reclamation process, I also wept for days, and days...
Fortunately I had some other memories as well, one especially good one! It was from that time when J came down the mountain with us after what we now call J's transfiguration.
I remember walking backwards facing J and Peter and James, and as we were turning a corner, the hill cropping out on my left, me still walking backwards, quite confident of my steps on the pebbly path, still so admiringly looking at J, I'm asking him, "Where's Elijah gone, where's he now?"
Not that I got an answer... not that I remember... but a few days after I recounted this to my wife, I met Elijah in a vision, he was still with me, he had never gone. That man could be one with someone, that's how he made you whole, that's how he healed you.
J has never gone either, I love the guy, love him like I love myself...
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
Ah..., now I'll get to what I originally wanted to say when I started writing this.
In the time of J, it was still natural to love yourself, for most it went without saying. It was not so much like it is now when most everyone has a hard time appreciating themselves or when so many of us have to first prove themselves before they can like themselves enough.
In those days, I actually understood very well what J meant when he said to love your neighbor like you love yourself. I did love myself, and if anything, J's love made me never lose it. That's why 'loving my neighbor' was just a matter of projecting it out... No sweat for me really... not in those days.
Oh sure, some of the others had some trouble with it, quite a bit actually, but I felt so strongly how J mirrored himself into me, that it was no problem to copy that towards others, anybody, anything actually.
Nowadays though, I don't think J could as easily say, "Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself."
Come to think of it, maybe most of us cannot love our neighbors so easily because we have been entrained and conditioned to believe and identify with our(?)... shortcomings and thus we learned not to love ourselves because of those assumed deficiencies.
Our own shortcomings? They are actually externally acquired only, we are really not stuck with them or inseparably stuck to them. We have only been forced to identify with them - under duress and stress we have been forced, sometimes even tricked to adopt them as our own, as we have been identified by them. But how we are labeled, how we are identified, that is not necessarily who or what we are. How easy is it not to label something incorrectly, could that not also have happened to us?
A few years ago in New York City, I said to a lady friend of mine when we were crossing Fifth Avenue to buy some very expensive bread in a posh 'designer bread' bakery ($7 a loaf!), "There is absolutely no reason for you to love yourself..." She suddenly looked quite perplexed and as the traffic stopped - came to a stand-still - I added, "You don't need a reason!" She then - clearing all up - broke out in a broad smile and... traffic resumed. We bought the bread, and as we - some other friends joined in a little later - broke the loaf up into pieces, she said, "Wim I love you so, you love me so... I guess I have no choice but to love myself... unless (smiling) unless I call your love a lie and God - who, I now so strongly feel, loves me - a liar also! Well, if I did, that would be a lie! Oh Wim!"
We then found our car and drove to another avenue, where we found in a side street a place with the best deserts ever...
If we had bread here right now, to disperse crumb by tiny crumb, every byte sent bit by bit across the world's wireless webbing, we would do it... But ah...
You know what, what I'll do - my son left me some good Triple Trappist beer - I'll drink it to...
PS
For almost two weeks now, right through Christmas and New Year 2006, I have been here on a tiny island (three miles long, one and a half mile across) off the coast of British Columbia, cloistered in solitude with a dog and a cat...
Soulitude that is...
No star of Bethlehem though..., even without the overcast skies!
No fireworks, even with the gales and blackouts!
But I have some very good bread with me, Emmy always makes sure that I have enough bread and butter.
The reason I'm here is, Emanuel and Alexis, the ones who actually live here, had to go to funeral in Kansas City, and Emmy couldn't come with me as we had visitors from Holland...
Me nevertheless... never alone...
but, you guessed it... all one!
Did I tell you that? That I remember that?
I remember so much of Jesus, but mostly from the viewpoint of that young kid John (the apostle). Not that I read some kind of 'past life' stuff into that as I don't consider reincarnation the way it is so often and so popularly explained... no-one really owns any individual past life at the exclusion of anyone else.
Remembering being John, I also remember at the same time being one of the soldiers on the mountain when J died. Gosh I even remember being on that same cross when J died, but... was I ever personally J or John or that soldier?
Of course not... and of course... all of the above... at least!!!
I like the Akashic records explanation: whatever help one needs to reclaim oneself - restoring one's authenticity - one can glean assistance from anybody's life, anybody who at some point lived in the 'past' and whose life experiences resonate with you (except for not being so messed up) is available to help you out. Nobody's experiences ever disappear, even after one leaves so to speak the physical realm, everyone and everything still lives on... still somehow in us and we in them... simultaneously, syntopically, synchronistically.
What I found so amazing - gosh I must have needed quite a few strong jolts, I must have really been lost to myself to be so miraculously kicked back into myself – what was so astounding was the time and space switching, the personality switching especially on that hill when J died. I remember switching from the cross to being John, then I switched to being that soldier and then being John again, saying to one of the other guys - Andrew it was - "Boy, we never understood Jesus, we never even understood a word of what he meant! But my..., I love him so, I... so loved him... "And then I wept, I wept for days... "
When I specifically remembered this, some ten years ago now, and told my wife, I was in the thralls of kundalini's self-reclamation process, I also wept for days, and days...
Fortunately I had some other memories as well, one especially good one! It was from that time when J came down the mountain with us after what we now call J's transfiguration.
I remember walking backwards facing J and Peter and James, and as we were turning a corner, the hill cropping out on my left, me still walking backwards, quite confident of my steps on the pebbly path, still so admiringly looking at J, I'm asking him, "Where's Elijah gone, where's he now?"Not that I got an answer... not that I remember... but a few days after I recounted this to my wife, I met Elijah in a vision, he was still with me, he had never gone. That man could be one with someone, that's how he made you whole, that's how he healed you.
J has never gone either, I love the guy, love him like I love myself...
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
Ah..., now I'll get to what I originally wanted to say when I started writing this.
In the time of J, it was still natural to love yourself, for most it went without saying. It was not so much like it is now when most everyone has a hard time appreciating themselves or when so many of us have to first prove themselves before they can like themselves enough.
In those days, I actually understood very well what J meant when he said to love your neighbor like you love yourself. I did love myself, and if anything, J's love made me never lose it. That's why 'loving my neighbor' was just a matter of projecting it out... No sweat for me really... not in those days.
Oh sure, some of the others had some trouble with it, quite a bit actually, but I felt so strongly how J mirrored himself into me, that it was no problem to copy that towards others, anybody, anything actually.
Nowadays though, I don't think J could as easily say, "Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself."
Come to think of it, maybe most of us cannot love our neighbors so easily because we have been entrained and conditioned to believe and identify with our(?)... shortcomings and thus we learned not to love ourselves because of those assumed deficiencies.
Our own shortcomings? They are actually externally acquired only, we are really not stuck with them or inseparably stuck to them. We have only been forced to identify with them - under duress and stress we have been forced, sometimes even tricked to adopt them as our own, as we have been identified by them. But how we are labeled, how we are identified, that is not necessarily who or what we are. How easy is it not to label something incorrectly, could that not also have happened to us?
A few years ago in New York City, I said to a lady friend of mine when we were crossing Fifth Avenue to buy some very expensive bread in a posh 'designer bread' bakery ($7 a loaf!), "There is absolutely no reason for you to love yourself..." She suddenly looked quite perplexed and as the traffic stopped - came to a stand-still - I added, "You don't need a reason!" She then - clearing all up - broke out in a broad smile and... traffic resumed. We bought the bread, and as we - some other friends joined in a little later - broke the loaf up into pieces, she said, "Wim I love you so, you love me so... I guess I have no choice but to love myself... unless (smiling) unless I call your love a lie and God - who, I now so strongly feel, loves me - a liar also! Well, if I did, that would be a lie! Oh Wim!"We then found our car and drove to another avenue, where we found in a side street a place with the best deserts ever...
If we had bread here right now, to disperse crumb by tiny crumb, every byte sent bit by bit across the world's wireless webbing, we would do it... But ah...
You know what, what I'll do - my son left me some good Triple Trappist beer - I'll drink it to...
to love
to us and all
and everyone of all of us...
singing (Jeez, that's good beer!):
No reason to love... Why need a reason?!
PS
For almost two weeks now, right through Christmas and New Year 2006, I have been here on a tiny island (three miles long, one and a half mile across) off the coast of British Columbia, cloistered in solitude with a dog and a cat...
Soulitude that is...
No star of Bethlehem though..., even without the overcast skies!
No fireworks, even with the gales and blackouts!
But I have some very good bread with me, Emmy always makes sure that I have enough bread and butter.
The reason I'm here is, Emanuel and Alexis, the ones who actually live here, had to go to funeral in Kansas City, and Emmy couldn't come with me as we had visitors from Holland...
Me nevertheless... never alone...
but, you guessed it... all one!
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